It’s Not You, It’s- No, It’s You.

On Social Media: Rocky Relationships

Facebook
Dear Man requesting to be my friend on Facebook,
Potential friend, it’s not going to work between us. It’s not you, it’s me. No, wait…it is you. If you ask to be my friend but have nothing on your Facebook page or profile that shows any interest in reading, writing, or any other creative medium, I’m sorry, no. And if all your FB friends are women, and most of those women are posed in risque cleavage displaying photos? Not only will I delete the friend request, but I will mark it as spam. If all you have in your timeline are multiple posts of ads selling merchandise…yep, delete/spam again. So, please stop. It’s becoming an annoying time-suck to respond to these and some of them are icky and a little creepy.

Twitter
Dear Twitter,
Don’t you trust me, Twitter? I mean, when we first started getting to know each other, hanging out together, you let me pick all my own friends and be “master of my Twitterfeed.” And then a few months ago, you changed. What happened, Twitter? You’re not the same as when we first met. It’s like you don’t trust me to think for myself. You don’t trust me to know who I want to hear from. Just because I want to follow a person, doesn’t mean I want to know who they follow. In fact, sometimes I hate finding out who people are following. I hate having to wade through the many Tweets from people other people follow which are of no interest to me. If I had wanted to follow them, I would have. Trust me, Twitter, I know how to do that myself. Oh, yeah, you don’t trust me anymore. That hurts, Twitter. I feel a little like Rick and Ilsa from Casablanca. Out of all the Social media platforms, in all the towns, in all the world, I walked into yours. But, one day, when I waste too much time wading through all the Tweets from all the people I didn’t choose to follow, I’m going to have to break up with you, Twitter. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, Twitter…But I’ve got a job to do too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Twitter, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. Now, now. Here’s looking at you, Twitter.

Tumblr
Dear Tumblr,
Don’t even. You make no sense to me. You scramble my brain. You’re like a Haiku poem. Like a fine French wine, way too refined for my happy-with-a-$10-bottle-of-Cabernet taste buds. In this case, it really isn’t you, it’s me.

On Juggling Writing with Social Media: How are you managing trying to juggle writing and social media? My next task is to look into Hootsuite. Have any of you used it and found it helpful? Just wondering before I invest time into figuring it out. What are your thoughts and experiences with social media? I’d love to hear any tips you have on how to keep a sane balance between writing and just enough social media.

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